Energy: Feng Shui and Children | Robyn Stevens | Season 9, Ep. 365

Dr. Robin

Welcome back to Small Changes, Big Shifts, Building Rhythm and Resilience. I sure hope you have enjoyed this last month of Going Through the B’s. And today as we start to wrap up our podcast series for these 30 days, I invited my dear friend Robyn Stevens to join me on Being and how Feng Shui can help you be more present, be more compassionate, be more authentic. I’m not sure there’s a “b” that doesn’t fit.

So let me tell you a little bit more about her before we get started. So, Robin is a master of finding balance and creating a harmonious living environment through Feng Shui. She believes that what we surround ourselves with has a direct effect on all aspects of our lives. Robin visits people and finds out about their relationships with themselves, others, and their things in order to help them create a space that welcomes new opportunities and good energy. Robin not only helps Feng Shui in your room but in your life as well to help you make sure you are living a well-balanced and harmonious life and are open to new opportunities and relationships.

Robin two years ago, our world shut down and we are in that month of April again. And I remember coming back from a few weeks at the Lake saying, okay, let’s get busy helping people. And you were one of the first people I called and I said, okay, I’m not sure if you’re getting out, but I need you to come to my house and help me get my office Feng Shui so that we can create magic and hope for people.

So, I want to say thank you so much. You remember that day?

Robyn

I do. I do. And I was a little nervous about getting out, but I couldn’t think of anybody better to get out with. So, it was awesome.

Dr. Robin

Well, I will forever be grateful for that, but I’m grateful for so many things about you. I told you people kind of who you are in the world, but what you mean to me and helping the wellness movement. So, we’ve been telling the story the last 30 days, Facebook Live, which you’re aware of, and we’re telling a story about how kind of things overlap in my life.

We’ve got the Small Changes, Big Shifts, movement, which you’re very much a part of, and that includes our teaching arm as well as the community that we’re building. So, we’ve been teaching people about this whole-person health now for about seven years. You’ve been right there from beginning with 2014, Small Changes, Big Shifts. And we also work with corporations. You’re one of our speakers that goes out and helps corporations figure out what is Feng Shui. Is it some voodoo thing, or is it just something about really helping us get more balanced in harmony?

And we’ve been talking about also the Big Shift Foundation. And the Big Shift Foundation is how do we help kids five to 30 through whole-person health? And we need the providers so that when we have kids that they can go to other resources so that they can learn this way of being. And it’s not just our scholarship kids, it’s also kids out in the community. So, you’re such a big part of every aspect of my life.

Plus, you punctuate your wellness Connection, my house, your wellness section, small changes, big shifts. You’re part of you’re one of our speakers. You help our kids. So thank you.

Robyn

How lucky am I to be part of this? I mean, I feel blessed every day, and every time I go to the Wellness Connection, I’m like, okay, is there anything I need to do to tweak this? But it’s coming together beautifully.

Dr. Robin

Well, you’ve done some great things. So, for our audience that’s never heard what is Feng Shui?

Robyn

I will tell you that’s always almost a difficult question to answer in a way that people truly get it. But in a nutshell, Feng Shui is the art of designing environments in harmony with the flow of energy in your living space. And then the flow of the energy in your living space directly impacts influences your own personal energy or your life force.

So in other words, whatever is going on in your life, good or bad, most often mirrors how you’re living in your home. And when you use Feng Shui principles of balance and harmony, that just naturally brings down all stress levels in your home and frees your space.

And when we do that, we increase opportunities for happiness, love, success, prosperity. Another way to look at it is like attracts. Like, if you’re living in a space that’s congruent with your personality and the things that you love and who you are, you just, you, yourself show up in a completely different way.

You’re probably happier, you’re more content, you’re peaceful. And then that’s the energy that you’re putting out into the world.

Dr. Robin

Well, I think I need to schedule a tune-up for my house. We’ll talk about that. Okay. So how can people practice it? Of course, they can find somebody like you, which is great. If they don’t live in Kansas City, how do they find is there a directory for Feng Shui people in the world?

Robyn

There is a wonderful directory. It’s actually an organization that I’m part of called the International Feng Shui Guild. And it’s just if you go to an International Feng Shui Guild online and you just type that in, you can go and type in your city and it will pop up anybody who has gone through a certified school of Feng Shui. And it’s a wonderful, wonderful resource. And then a lot of us do it virtually. So I think there’s a lot of options available.

Dr. Robin

Oh, I love that. I’ve not thought about doing it virtually. So that’s a great way to think about it, especially in today’s times, right?

Robyn

Yes. So, if you’re wanting to create more love for yourself, more peace with your family, more prosperity, whether it’s in relationships or finances, you might want to look at Feng Shui.

Dr. Robin

I want to have you share how children can benefit from Feng Shui. And then you told a story recently that I cannot quit thinking about. Do you have mind sharing about that?

Robyn

I do. And before we get into the kids, yes, that is so important. But what’s more important than that is that their parents or their caretakers are living in a space that is harmonious and balanced and supporting them, and they are exhibiting what it’s like to live in that kind of environment, because it’s tough right now for kids.

And so, the best thing that we can do as adults is to exemplify that for them. And then the second thing for kids. Yeah, it’s critical for kids. It’s a struggle. I mean, it’s no different if I talk to an adult that is closed off to Feng Shui. There’s nothing I can do or say they have to come to that in their own time. But kids are the same way.

But where parents can help them is by making sure that, first of all, the things in their room are age appropriate. So, you don’t want a preteen living with toys and books and decor that’s more appropriate for seven-year-old. When that is not age-appropriate, the kiddos can be clingy, difficult to make decisions, may be cranky and angry. They don’t even know why. They don’t understand that the space that they’re living in is just not supporting who they are right now.

The other thing is, especially with little girls, it seems like I go into so many rooms that are decorated with the mom’s taste and not the kiddos taste. And so all of a sudden they’re living in a room that’s not representative of their personality. It’s not representative of their age. And that just manifests itself in so many different ways.

Maybe their grades are struggle or they’re being bullied because they haven’t found their voice. They haven’t found their voice because they’re not represented anywhere in their space. Even if I can’t come in and Feng Shui them, which doesn’t happen all that often, parents can just keep things moving chronologically for their kids. From an environmental point of view. Does that make sense?

Dr. Robin

That does make sense. And you’re touching on some really interesting subjects, which I want us to make sure we dive into. And I want you to include how mental health plays a factor in that. I get an SOS almost every day got one today from a mom who’s had a really tough week, has a kid with suicidal ideation. And so how does mental health play into your space?

Robyn

Oh, gosh, so much. And the first one is I know I’m a broken record, and I know we talk about this all the time, but clutter. Clutter is so debilitating. It just, chronic clutter can cause anxiety and anger, and depression. It kills our productivity, our focus, our creativity, motivation, all of it. And sometimes kids just can’t do it themselves. They need a decluttering buddy to come in and help them get organized. And you know what? It’s not always the mom and dad that can be the buddy for that task, but we’ve got some incredible organizers in the city.

There’s one in particular that I recommend to parents all the time because she’s fun. She’s got this young personality. I actually had to work with my nieces, and they had a blast. And I just listened to her communicate with them, and she treated them like adults. And they were so motivated. And one, in particular, has really stayed with it these last five, six years.

The other one is a harder case, but I think there are a lot of different resources that tackle the clutter. It affects all of us adults, kids. It doesn’t matter. The clutter is so detrimental to our mental health, our physical health, everything.

I think making sure that the paint in the room is too much red can promote anger. Black can be very depressing. Too much blue can be a little unstable. So maybe if you can’t get kids to declutter, maybe start with paint in their room and see if you can kind of sneak in through the side door. But yes, it affects every aspect of mental health.

Dr. Robin

I love that we’re in the springtime. That spring is showing up and you start to see flowers show up and think about pruning. And what a great time to you use the word free your space. And thank you for that, because that’s the magic of my first book, Wellness on a Shoestring, Seven Habits for a Healthy Life.

And it’s free your space not only from the things you’re eating, but it’s also the stuff around you and the thoughts you have. And I think the Feng Shui will help open the gateways to doing that. I’m looking around my office here thinking I have some work to do. And I love how you said it’s an ongoing process. And so, what I love about that, I’m going to do the minute we get off this call and say, okay, when can I schedule an appointment? Because I know that when I put that appointment. It makes me get kick into gear because I’d be embarrassed to see the stack of books on my desk and things like that right now, which is awesome because you’re my accountability partner for your space.

And there’s also that free that’s for your space around nutrition and diet. We’re launching a new program with Brooksize, who’s also a wellness champion around Dr. William Davis’s book called Super Gut. And how do we help clean out the gut?

So as you think about this whole next 60 days is how could you kind of declutter your closets? And you can check out our friends of our new house. If you have couches or furniture you need to get rid of, there’s so many great places you can resource those to go out there.

So I’m glad you brought up clutter and the beating this. I’m going to stick with kids for a minute. You shared a story about a family who had a child struggling. Can you share that story?

Robyn

Sure. Yeah. Prior to any consultation, I always spend time talking with my client, and we figure out what areas of life aren’t working. We do. We talk about love and career and prosperity. And if they’re a parent, we talk about the kids. And I knew before I even got there that was a struggle that they were having for most of the lives of my client and her daughter. They’ve been besties. They’ve been really tight as ticks. And probably the last, I don’t know, 18 months, two years. I think there was a lot of anxiety and anger and combativeness.

And my client was very, very nervous and scared and worried about her daughter. So I have all of that in mind as I’m walking into the house, and I had looked at this from Feng Shui. We also look at the floor plan to see if there are environmental design things that could be contributing to a child struggling.

I wasn’t really seeing anything, so I knew it was probably going to be more things that were environmental.

So, when I walk in the door, I immediately start looking around, and I see so many family pictures. I mean, this is a family that really shows their love through pictures on the walls. And it was mom, dad and daughter. The daughter had this long, flowing hair, just beautiful family pictures. As I’m walking, I also see a lot of symbolism, specifically around the words King, Queen, and Princess.

So, there was artwork that showed that linked dad to being the King of the house and mom being to the Queen of the house and daughter being the Princess. So, I’m thinking about all this as I’m walking through, when I walk in and my client takes me to meet her daughter, but I don’t meet her daughter.

I walk into her bedroom, and she had been open to this, and she was inviting me in. I would not have gone in if she hadn’t. But I didn’t meet their daughter. I met their son. This kiddo had cut all of her hair off. It was very short. And a more traditionally what we would consider to be a masculine cut, the clothes were more masculine versus feminine. I wasn’t meeting a young girl. And so mom left us to just chat.

And I just said to her, I said, I saw the pictures and I saw the references to Princess, and I don’t feel like that’s the person that I’m meeting right now. And essentially, she said, that is not me. That’s not me at all. And when I walk through the house, it just doesn’t make me feel good.

So, she was lovely and very open to this whole concept in the conversations. And later, when I regrouped with mom and I told mom about this conversation, I think it was really emotional. And what I did not really understand was her daughter really wasn’t identifying as female at all.

He was identifying as male. And so at first, she kind of rebelled against the conversation. But then as we start walking through the house, the mom just starts picking up pictures that contain her daughter. And over the next couple of months, Michelle, she replaced all the pictures with pictures of her son, who has since successfully transitioned.

All this symbolism with Princess has been any feminine reference has been taken down. And five years later, this kid is happy getting ready to graduate College, is fully inhabiting his male self. And I talked to mom, and they could not be happier. And they credit this transition, this healthy transition for them with really realizing how their space was just really hurting everybody in the family. And what Mum said to me, which I hadn’t thought about, was it was so important for her to take those pictures down because they were reminding her of a daughter that did not exist anymore. And that was very painful to her.

And how she was able to accept her son was to remove all of those visual reminders. And now she’s the biggest ally. She’s the biggest advocate. She’s so badass. I just love them. I just love them.

Dr. Robin

Well, what about another kiddo? Can you give me another example of just a kid who is struggling, maybe being bullied or cutting or something.

Robyn

Well, you know, this is the one. And I kind of referenced this earlier, but this one, it was a kiddo who was clingy, had horrible grades in school, had no friends, couldn’t make a decision to save her life. And so mom invited me in daughter was okay with me coming to her room. And we had a conversation, and I start looking around. And at the time, this kiddo was almost 15 years old. I started looking around, and everything in the room was geared to, like a six or seven-year-old.

All the toys, the books, the decor. So, we just started talking about that. And I told her what I was seeing and how I didn’t think that was congruent with who she was. And she absolutely agreed, and she was ready to let things go.

The other thing you need to know, her room is very pink. I mean, very pink. And I remember asking her, So you really love pink? And she goes, no, I don’t love pink. My mom loves pink. I said, well, what do you like? She loves Blues and Greens. She’s really into turtles and animals. So brought mom in. We had this conversation, and together they really purged. They let go of a lot of things they donated. They have a small box where they took the things that the daughter wanted to keep. And then they painted the walls just a really clean, creamy white.

And they changed all the colors from pinks to these Blues and Greens. And the artworks was now. And this kid was kind of a little hippy Dippy. And I say that in the best possible way. And all of a sudden, her room reflected who she was and the age she was.

Very quickly, she tried out for the school play. She joined the cross-country team. She started making friends. Her grades started going up. This is my favorite one, though. She decided that she wanted to go to school dance. All of her friends had paired off were on dates. She had her mom take her drop her off at the dance, and she just took herself to that dance and had the best time ever.

A year ago, she would never have done that. She’s getting ready to graduate. She’s another one getting ready to graduate college. She’s on the honor list. Her grades have gone way, way up. She’s got this incredible circle of friends. It was like she was just the seed waiting to be fertilized. And now she’s just bloomed and blossomed, and she’s just entering this incredible stage of her life.

Dr. Robin

Well, I think about gardening and how do we pull away the old stuff so that the new stuff can come through? And I think that’s what Feng Shui does and then planning it the right way. And you’re a master at that. And if you’re not local, once again, you could do virtual work. I’m getting all these ideas for our foundation kids.

Robyn

Oh, I would love it.

Dr. Robin

I’m not sure Bailey has tapped into you for those yet, but I’m going to write a note. You’ve tapped into a lot, but people struggle in their health and their relationships and their jobs, and I think maybe a lot of it is just not having the right energy around them.

So just another thing to do. So it’s been extra special having you help me round out this 30-year celebration of 30 lessons I’ve learned about being. And I don’t know, I know you’ve heard some of the shows about the essence. Being is about being in essence.

And it’s hard to really let your essence come through when you’re not supported if it’s by your friends, by your family, by yourself, by the colors around you, the stuff around you. What kind of closing thoughts as we start to wrap up would you have around the words being this and Feng Shui?

Robyn

Well, first of all, I just want to say sometimes life can be really, really difficult, and there’s so many things that are out of our control. But what is in control is the little bit of space that you have. And I think if it’s clean and organized and decluttered right there, that’s going to raise your own personal energy, and that just helps you show up as your best possible self.

So, I feel like there’s so many things that we try to do to make ourselves healthier and feel better. And if we don’t focus on our space, none of those things are sustainable.

Dr. Robin

Well, I am going on the month of April is my month to regain control of my space. It’s not horrible, but it definitely could be more supportive. Never one and done. You know what? I think I’m learning that more and more from you never one and done in any aspect. So that’s awesome. Robin, I always loved in this show with possibly a quote. Is there a quote that’s inspiring you or a song or a book this month?

Robyn

You know, the song just never fails to inspire me. I always hear at the exact right moment, as I can see clearly now. It just makes me want to start singing out loud.

Dr. Robin

I can see clearly. That’s a great song. All of you joining me, I hope that you have learned more about small changes, big shifts. I invite you to if you’ve not gone on to Facebook or LinkedIn or to also be on our website coming up in a few days to join me as we wrap up the last few days of our series. We’re on day 25 of 30, and I hope you’ll join me on social media to learn about some of the being this as we start to wrap up this 30-day campaign. If you haven’t had a chance to donate yet, I invite you to go to Bigshift.org to share in our campaign. We’re getting really close to our goal of $30,000.

I promise you every single penny we’ll use towards the kids whether it’s bringing in a speaker like Robyn, having them get functional as the blood work, going to therapy, getting the vitamins they need, whatever they need to help them on their journey I promise you will use that.

It could be the kindness kits that we’re developing. I also want to invite you to join us over at Give seven days. We’re going to be with Mindy Corporan and her team on April 13 as she kicks off her seven days event and then we’re also going for a walk on the 24th. I hope you’ll join me on that as well as she brings hope and healing and kindness to the world. We’re definitely sisters in love about trying to help bring more goodness to the world to my guests. Robin Stevens, I love you. I appreciate you. I see you.

Thanks for sharing with me on this special edition of Small changes big shifts to all of our listeners we can’t do without you. Feel free to share this with your friends. The powerful stuff here. You never know what small change will lead to. A big shift. All right, I’m sending you lots of love and hey, I’ll chat with you real soon.

Thanks for listening. And now it’s your turn. Turn hope into action by implementing one thing you learned from this episode. I believe if you change one thing a month for the next twelve months it will change your life forever. Be sure to subscribe so you can catch new episodes each week. Visit the website smallchangesbackshift.com for the show notes and don’t forget to leave a rating or comment. Blesses you.